Knowing Anne's delight with wee kids, (of the goat variety in this instance but also of the child kind), I post a picture of Sooty for her amusement & also as a warning. Cute little kids (rather like children in this respect) grow up to be perfect idiots who decide that standing on their houses in the rain is a really, really good idea!
Mind you, Sooty is probably a little more intelligent than some of the classy acts I've dealt with this week. Not for the first time as someone showed me their drivers licence as proof of identity I have had moments of huge self doubt - if this idiot can drive what does it say about me who has never EVER come even close to being able to drive a car??
Another huge reality check for me is talk shows. As I was doing chores the other day I glanced at the tv and wondered who that 60 something man was. When he started singing I thought to myself (as I did the dishes) "my, he does a good impersonation of Georgie Fame" ... duh! I remember Georgie Fame, I remember Bonnie & Clyde. Who said he could age along with the rest of us? How dare he!
Tonights sobering moment is Diana Rigg on Parkinson. For goodness sake I SO wanted to be Emma Peel (and yes, there are still moments where in my own mind at least I AM). So what is she doing looking all 60-ish and not a bit of leather in sight?
Last night Thora Hird was on and she said in her mind she was still 30 - considering she must be about a 150 thats not bad. Still it seems unfair this age thing. Perhaps if I actually owned a mirror I might not come as such a big surprise when I catch sight of some old woman in the reflection from shop windows who appears to have exactly the same wardrobe as I do. Don't know who she is but goodness me she could do with a bit of work! Not so much "nip & tuck" but more "chomp & multiple pleats".
And now, and not because I'm bitter, some little pearls David sent me the other day.
(and yeah, yeah, not all men deserve these & yes I know lots of really lovely men .....)
Q. ! What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around inpain on the ground?
A. Shoot him again.
Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and thenoose.
Q. Why do little boys whine?
A. Because they're practicing to be men.
Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve !around him. OR...... Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listento him brag about the screwing part.
Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trust worthy.
Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath andcalling your name?
A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A. Because not one will stop and ask directions.
Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants everywoman to satisfy his one need.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder: "Instruction Manuals"