More rugby ...

Following the weekend news that former All Black captain Tana Umaga had been in a wee spot of bother with the Rugby Union after hitting Hurricanes team-mate Chris Masoe with a handbag during a pub fight, Darling David sent me these pics. Aren't they gorgeous!

The NZ Herald reported "Umaga twice struck Masoe over the head with a woman's handbag after Masoe got into a dispute with another drinker in the bar. The blows were sufficient to break a cellphone in the handbag and reduce Masoe to tears." Masoe was fined $3000 for fighting. Tana just has to live with the handbag jokes.

OK ... so rugby season is here

I am a rugby slut. I admit it. I couldn't tell you anything about the rules of the game or anything else but when those boys get out on the field for an international I'm there. Who couldn't be with those thighs??

This is the new captain of the All Blacks and what a nice boy he is. Must admit I've always liked Tana but if we have to have a new captain ... well Richie doesn't seem to have any mud that's stuck, I'm sure he's good to his mum and he don't look too bad does he?

And just so you know when I'm not available (or perhaps you may like to search you cable channels for the games - trust me, you won't be disappointed) here's the wee timetable I'll be sticking to.

Rāhoroi! Saturday!

Ka tīmata te pō whakangāhau i te Rāhoroi! (The party will start on Saturday!) Well if you call doing the washing & dishes a party, yes it does.

And before anyone starts thinking that I've become fluent in Te Reo Maori overnight, think again. Nah, it's a dinky new link I stumbled upon the other day for Cultureflow When you sign up they email you a new kupu (word) of the day along with a short sentance to put it in context. I'm liking this a lot more than some of the other online learning sites - a word a day I can cope with where some of them are so overwhelming with information my brain freezes. The Madcows manager at work is keen too and we're hoping to sign up everyone in the office as part of the Nga Take Maori competency in our performance plans.

The other link that I am totally addicted to is The Sartorialist It's not like I'm a fashion freak but my week is just not complete without a scroll through what people on the street in New York are wearing. It's like an online glossy magazine - you know the kind you never find on the shelves at the bookstore but somehow are always at the hairdressers. Now what's that about - do hairdressers have some secret magazine supplier?

I love magazines. Any magazine. I've been known to graze through copies of "Hot4's" & "NZ Performance Cars" when I can't find anything else in the house - just got to have those glossies! I blame my grandmother. She shared the addiction (or perhaps started mine) and always had a huge pile of English mags next to her chair and the two of would devour every word & picture about people who may have been very famous in the UK but who were totally unknown down our side of the planet. It didn't matter though. They were magazines for goodness sake. We needed them! She also used to buy some rather tacky "tits and bums" type mags which she assured us all were "just for the crosswords" which might have been convincing if we didn't all know about her predilection for some rather raunchy novels. Have to wonder about Bess sometimes!

Now of course I judge professionals by the quality of reading material in their waiting rooms. For several years I went to a GP in Wellington not for his medical skills (minimal) but rather for his subscription to "The New Yorker". I also had to find a new therapist several years ago when obviously the man had finished rennovating his house (House & Garden, Home Beautiful) and was now spending my outrageously expensive appointment fee on a new boat (Sea Spray).

The downside to this habit is the difficulty in storing this great quantity of paper. Grandad Shaw to the rescue and now to match the gorgeous scrapping desk he built me, the lounge is now home to these "just what I wanted" bookshelves. They arrived last week but it's taken all this time to finally get them filled and tidy. You know what it's like when you start unpacking books - so many you've forgotten all about that you just have to sit down and read. More about that little trip down memory lane later.

For now it's back to the couch. "He Who Shall Not Be Named" is out at work and with control of the tv remote I've got "Easter Parade" booked. Fred Astaire AND Judy Garland. Aaah that's class.

Today we visit Tonga

Thanks to Esitamaki!

Good Morning... Malo etau toe ma'u e pongpongi ni

Good Afternoon... Malo etau toe ma'u he hoata ni

Good night...Po'uli a

How are you? ... Fefe hake

My name is .... Ko ...................hoku hingoa.

Are you alright... Oku ke sai pe?

Have a great day...Ofa keke ma'u ha 'aho lelei.


I have to say too that the total in the swear box has increased to $16 today - does that tell you what our day was like?

PS. Kia Ora ra Jo. Kia Ora mo te tutaki i ahau.

Belated happy birthdays, mothers day...yeah,yeah,yeah

At the Madcow office we have two little challenges going.

The first is the "No Swear" challenge (but given one of our roles is to "swear" affidavits that's a little silly isn't it!). I must admit I am one of the worst offenders - Little Miss Potty Mouth that's me. We all agreed to clean up our act and now it's 50cents per profanity into the jar, which given what usually comes out of my mouth & that of the managers should pay for our Christmas "do"! In the space of two minutes we both owed the jar a total of $6 and that was when we were both in good moods! What does surprise me (not) how many more words I know than those young things floating around me. While trying to determine whether "shite" and other derivatives should be included I was surprised, no shocked, that the young things could only come up with four words that would be chargeable. I meanwhile had a list that went on for pages. They're obviously not angry enough. I'll post my weekly balance - I'd like to think that with effort I will be paying less than my pay cheque.

Our second language challenge is to celebrate and acknowledge the many ethnicities both in our office and at our counter. Day One is your very own lesson in Te Reo Maori thanks to Terewaho.

Good Morning... Atamarie

Good Afternoon... Ahiahi marie

Good night...Pomarie

How are you? ..... Kei te pehea koe?

My name is .... Ko ...................toku ingoa

Are you alright... Kei te pai koe?

And if you're looking for how to actually say these words you may like to check out the link over to the right of this for Korero Maori

Tomorrow we are going to visit "Tonga" together but right now I'm off to watch one of my favourite, favourite films - "Shaun of the Dead". A must see, trust me!

Happy Wednesday/Thursday Anne!

Knowing Anne's delight with wee kids, (of the goat variety in this instance but also of the child kind), I post a picture of Sooty for her amusement & also as a warning. Cute little kids (rather like children in this respect) grow up to be perfect idiots who decide that standing on their houses in the rain is a really, really good idea!

Mind you, Sooty is probably a little more intelligent than some of the classy acts I've dealt with this week. Not for the first time as someone showed me their drivers licence as proof of identity I have had moments of huge self doubt - if this idiot can drive what does it say about me who has never EVER come even close to being able to drive a car??

Another huge reality check for me is talk shows. As I was doing chores the other day I glanced at the tv and wondered who that 60 something man was. When he started singing I thought to myself (as I did the dishes) "my, he does a good impersonation of Georgie Fame" ... duh! I remember Georgie Fame, I remember Bonnie & Clyde. Who said he could age along with the rest of us? How dare he!

Tonights sobering moment is Diana Rigg on Parkinson. For goodness sake I SO wanted to be Emma Peel (and yes, there are still moments where in my own mind at least I AM). So what is she doing looking all 60-ish and not a bit of leather in sight?

Last night Thora Hird was on and she said in her mind she was still 30 - considering she must be about a 150 thats not bad. Still it seems unfair this age thing. Perhaps if I actually owned a mirror I might not come as such a big surprise when I catch sight of some old woman in the reflection from shop windows who appears to have exactly the same wardrobe as I do. Don't know who she is but goodness me she could do with a bit of work! Not so much "nip & tuck" but more "chomp & multiple pleats".

And now, and not because I'm bitter, some little pearls David sent me the other day.
(and yeah, yeah, not all men deserve these & yes I know lots of really lovely men .....)

Q. ! What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around inpain on the ground?
A. Shoot him again.
Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and thenoose.
Q. Why do little boys whine?
A. Because they're practicing to be men.
Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve !around him. OR...... Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listento him brag about the screwing part.
Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trust worthy.
Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath andcalling your name?
A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A. Because not one will stop and ask directions.
Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants everywoman to satisfy his one need.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder: "Instruction Manuals"

The weekend ... finally!

The trouble with going on holiday is that you eventually have to go back to work, and this has been just the longest week. Seems so unfair. It's not the work itself so much - my desk seemed pretty much under control by Friday - but more the rapid descent back into all the politics and that feeling of being vaguely pissed off all the time.

Not that it's something I can claim as my own. I think it's a universal truth that where ever you work there will be a gazillion hidden agendas that have very little to do with the job you are meant to be doing and a lot to do with some peoples perverse sense of ego, but just give me a break. I just know that one day I'm going to lose it and stand up and scream "OK, so I'm a white, middleclass, middleaged woman - nothing I can do will ever change that fact so GET OVER IT!"

I try not to remind myself that there are still 17 years to go before I can get a pension (working on the idea that there actually will still be a government superannuation scheme in 2023!) and instead focus on the achievable time frames like, only 3 more hours until 5pm, or only 2 more days until the weekend ... there must be a better way!

Of course there are the "pearl" moments in my day that make up for the crap & Geeta is one of those pearls. We went for dinner last night at her new home and I'm happy to say that "Weight Watchers" is not a phrase that has ever made its way into her recipe book. She tells me that chinese food is very popular in India but with a minute Chinese population it is mostly cooked by Indians which could explain the (deliciously) spicy noodles etc. After devouring my all time favourite pre-dinner snacks of samosas & Star Gatthia with dipping sauces, then a feast of noodles, rice & chicken, we were cemented to the couch like a couple of stuck pigs. But no! There's more!

Galub Jamun (deep fried milkballs with sweet sauce) & Soan Papdi .... oh my god & goddesses. We thought we had died and gone to some sort of sugar heaven. Run RUN to the supermarket and find these! Now my sister Geeta recommends the Haldirum brand and I believe everything my sister Geeta tells me especially after shoving enough of these two little wonders down my gob to put me into a coma. Here's a link especially for you Gail (and everyone else but I know Gail is my fellow Indian cuisine addict!) because you just have to try these . (The Galub Jamun comes in a can and you just warm them a little in the microwave)

We finally managed to extricate ourselves from the sofa and make our way home & to bed, where I dreamt sweet sugary dreams. I love you Geeta (and I am not eating another thing all weekend I promise!!)

Gail - I checked the shipping charges on the site & it says free shipping in the US with only a $3 surcharge on orders under $30!! Could be the answer!

Wednesday

It rained at lunchtime so what's a girl to do but go shopping.

Are these Madcow socks not just the greatest things!!

Then of course the delicious Monkey jamies!

Slightly more practical these desk files from K Mart for only $8 - I've been searching for something like this to organise a lot of my scrap supplies for months now. Finally something that is wide enough to take the longest lengths!

I also found a really great bright red parka on sale ... then realised it was actually in the children's section of the store ... and it fitted me. Oh well. There are benefits obviously to being a short Cow.

And before I am put on Kip's hitlist here are my answers to her "tag". (I'm really not scared of Kip ... really!)

Name 5 things that:

Make you smile:
Spending time with my friends, my new Madcow socks, waking up and realizing it’s the weekend, watching Dylan Moran doing standup on an Amnesty show on tv this weekend

You can see on your desk right now:
glass of chardonnay, digital camera, Passionfruit & Echinacea handcream, tv remote, my little bathing beauty that Kip sent me.

Kept you busy this weekend:
laundry, scrapping, taking the Madcow Mother out to visit a resthome, watching old movies

You will be doing this week:
work (ugh), laundry (more ugh), helping in the kitchen at the Madcow Mothers church, dinner at Geeta’s.

You said to make someone smile:
“You have learnt well little Grasshopper” to one of the girls in the office who had done her first scrapbook layouts,
“I’m only coming to see you in your little skirt” when one of the (male) lawyers asked if I was coming to watch him play netball
A mutual smile with Jules when we planned our ‘Over 40’s Scrapbook Magazine’
“You’ll lose your desk by the window if you don’t take better care of the weather!” to Hardev when it poured with rain today
and
“It’s 5 o’clock – home time family!” to the office tonight!

Okay, I tag:
Pam