Saturday, July 22, 2006

Well it made me laugh ...

When the winter blues arrive a Madcow should always have a friend like Darling David. Just when you think that things couldn't get any worse an email arrives from that dear boy that has me choking on the chardy in no time .... lawyers really do send the best jokes! This was one of the cleaner ones he sent last week.

NAMING THE FATHER FOR CHILD SUPPORT IN AUSTRALIA

The following are all replies that Sydney Western Suburbs women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father'sdetails:
These are genuine excerpts from the forms.
1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Trev Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father ofchild B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.
2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.
3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number?Thanks.
4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives anExcel that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels.Perhaps you can contact Excel dealers in this area and see if he's had it replaced.
5. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implicationsfor the NSW economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.
6. I do not know who the father of my child was as all soldiers look the same to me. I can confirm that he was an infantryman.
7. Bazza Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?
8. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disneyworld
9. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I rememberfor sure is Jamie Oliver did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilised.
10. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

8 Comments:

Blogger Cindy Marchant said...

OMGawd!!! Those are soooo funny, and a little twisted!

Clare some check out my "cow" pics on my blog.

9:31 AM  
Blogger Pam in Moncton said...

Oh too funny! hope those aren't real!
Pam

5:45 AM  
Blogger karen said...

What a Hoot!!!!!
I am not surprised that these are for real!!!!!

10:41 AM  
Blogger altar ego said...

ROFLMAO!! Need I say more? Thanks for today's dose of guffaws.
xoxo

3:03 PM  
Blogger katie said...

Great chuckles--and to think, people really ARE this dumb.
We see it all the time at the hospital.
Hope you had a lovely Monday. katie

10:50 PM  
Blogger Planet said...

To funny clare!!

Its hard to believe its winter there! When we are sooo hot and humid here in New Jersey, almost reaching 100 degrees!!

Sorry I have been awol, I will try better, really I will!!! I know, I say that all the time, but I will try and give the extra effort! I hope you are doing fine, have an extra drink and hopefully the winter blue will be better!! XOXOX janet from another planet

4:47 AM  
Blogger Ruth.E said...

Why did it have to be Aussie chicks that are so ridiculous. Funny, sad but funny.
Ruth

6:40 AM  
Blogger JulesinParadise said...

I really needed this today...thanks for the laugh!

8:10 AM  

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